Finding that you have a date after a long search through the online listings, contacting many people and meeting lots of rejection and stony silences during the process, is a very exciting moment. Maybe you have found the right person for you! Then again, maybe you've come across someone who isn't a good person, and could be dangerous to be with.
The first thing to be aware of is that many online profiles contain lies. You can expect people to exaggerate on profiles somewhat. This will not always be the case, but it may be that the airline pilot or the high-flying chief executive officer of a multinational will not turn out that way at all. You should expect a few "white lies," but there are also more serious lies.
Some people may claim not to have enough money to travel to meet you. This may well be the case, but it is reasonable to be suspicious. Is the person trying to extort money from you? You may send money to an individual so that they can travel and then never see or hear from them again. A potential solution to this problem might be to offer to buy tickets to allow the person to travel to meet you if you are still keen to meet them.
Some people may have posted a picture of themselves when they were a lot younger, or even worse, a photograph of somebody else. That person still might be worth getting to meet, but this is an underhand tactic.
Is the person you are planning to meet violent? That could be the case, and that does not just apply to men. When you are arranging a date, it is sensible to make sure you do so in a public location at a time when there will be many members of the public present. It is also prudent to ask a friend or family member to attend the venue and be in a position where they can observe the date at a reasonable distance, and to arrange a coded hand signal or something similar to indicate trouble. That person could then intercede or call for security or the police as necessary.
Is your date married? Look for tells, like an absence of suntan where a wedding ring would otherwise be. (This is traditionally on the third finger of the left hand.) For all sorts of reasons it is best not to involve yourself with a married man or woman.
If you feel that you are being pressured during a date of any kind, it is probably best to bring the date to an end. Whether to take it further or not is up to you both, as one of you will need to provide the other with a way of continuing to maintain contact; usually in a heterosexual date, the woman will be asked for her telephone number by the man. Do not do this unless you are sure you want to maintain contact. If you are uncertain, you could set up a new email address on the internet using one of the many free email services available and provide the person with this address, then communicate through that account until you are sure you want things to progress further.
Finally, should you be looking for a sexual relationship or casual sex, make sure to take precautions against pregnancy and sexually-transmitted diseases. For a man, a condom is vital. Imagine if you made a woman whom you didn't like pregnant! There may be many child maintenance payments in your future. It is also sensible to carry a condom if you are a woman, and wise to refuse to have unprotected sex unless you are absolutely certain you want to do so.
David Thomas is a web publisher with a wide range of interests, including psychology and dating. He runs a web site that gives free flirting advice, and you can even add your own comments to the articles. It's a great place to learn! Check it out now:
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